Europe. Summer. 1997. You and your so-called friends have discovered two problems with a common solution: mad cows in England, and unexploded bombs in France. The French countryside is lousy with bombs, left over from long-forgotten wars. You’ve decided the smartest use of your time would be to clear those bombs with an army of mad cows. Round up your herd, sail them over the Channel, and loose them in La Belle France. If you’re lucky, you’ll get rich before someone shuts you down.

Unexploded Cow is a fun, fast-paced card game about blowing up mad cows. James Ernest was originally inspired to create the game while touring the French countryside, where leftover munitions still render parts of the country uninhabitable. At the same time, nearby England was in the throes of a mad cow disease epidemic. Why not solve both problems at the same time?

The legal, logistical, and ethical complications involved in marching mad cows across France to blow them up made the solution untenable in reality. However, the idea does make for a fantastically quirky card game. As one of the most popular games in their catalog, Unexploded Cow was the first Cheapass Games title to be re-released in a new deluxe edition after Cheapass Games’ hibernation period in the early 2000s. Designed by James Ernest and Paul Peterson, the deluxe edition features full-color components as well as all-new art by Cheyenne Wright.

In Unexploded Cow, your goal is to finish with more money than you started with. If you finish with the most cash, you win. To begin, each player is given a starting fund of 5000 francs, and antes 500 into the pot. On your turn, you’ll draw two cards, play as many cards as you wish, and then make a “bomb roll.”

There are three types of cards: cow cards, event cards, and city cards. Cows are played into “herds,” which are lines of cows on the table in front of each player. You must pay the price listed on the cow card, after which you may place the cows in any player’s herd.

Generally, you’ll play “good” cows, which earn money when they explode, into your own herd. Good cows include proud, fat, sturdy, and strong cows. “Bad” cows, which cost a player money when they explode, are generally played into other players’ herds. Bad cows include sloppy, skinny, and troubled cows. Some cows have special abilities allowing them to pass bombs away, steal bombs, or defuse bombs entirely. “Spy” cows are played into other player’s herds, but earn money for their true owner when they explode.

Event cards are played for an immediate effect. Examples include “Stampede,” which moves any number of cows from your herd to other herds (forcing other players to pay you for the transferred cows); “Night Shift,” which allows for an extra bomb roll; and “Mrr?”, which brings a cow back from the discard pile.

At the end of your turn, you’ll make a bomb roll, which determines which cow finds a bomb and blows up. Roll a die and count around the table, starting with the rightmost cow in your herd, and proceeding to the left. If you roll higher than the number of cows in your herd, keep counting into the next player’s herd, and so around the table until you stop on a cow. That cow then explodes.

If your cow blows up on your turn, you earn the respect and admiration of a town, and take a city card. City cards come with different bonuses such as being able to steal money from the pot or cows from other players. Look for a special promo deck of alternate city cards featuring mad cows around the world in GTM #207!

When the last city card is taken, "Sudden Death" begins. In Sudden Death, players make bomb rolls until all cows are blown up or there is no more money in the pot. After Sudden Death, the game ends. If you have more money than you started with, you’ve done well. If you have the most money, you win!

Round up your mad herd, give them a stirring pep talk, and march them into France! Look for a copy of Unexploded Cow at your friendly local game store today!

Full rules are available at cheapass.com/unexploded-cow. Unexploded Cow plays in 25-minutes, supports 2-6 players ages 12 and up, and retails for $25. Like most Cheapass Games titles, Unexploded Cow is printed in the United States. Note: no actual cows were blown up to create this game. That would be udderly mad.